She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
