i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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