PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
