I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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