I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
