oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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