I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
