Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize