So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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