I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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