i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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