it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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