i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
