Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize