im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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