Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
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Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Come on in and take your pants off
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