the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
