i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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