Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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