I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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