the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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