some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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