Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
