Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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