I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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