So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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