Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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