umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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