You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize