I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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