Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I cut my penus on the lid.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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