I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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