White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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