I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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