Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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