I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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