I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
