she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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