i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
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We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome