Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?