he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy