dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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