didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
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He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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