Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
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I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
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We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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