She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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