READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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