somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
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