You can't motorboat a personality
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize