you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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