I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
