Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize