He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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