I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
