There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
