Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize