Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
