Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
