Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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