You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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